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Pat and Mike, both in their 90's, had played professional baseball together and, after they retired, had remained close friends. Pat suddenly fell deathly ill. Mike visited Pat on his deathbed. After they talked a while and it became obvious that Pat had only a few more minutes to live, Mike said, "Listen old friend. After you die, try and get a message back to me. I want to know if there's baseball in heaven." 
      With his dying breath, Pat whispers, "If God permits, I'll do my best to get you an answer." 
      A few days after Pat died, Mike is sleeping when he hears Pat's voice. 
      Pat says, "Mike, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is, yes, there IS baseball in heaven. The bad news is, you're scheduled to pitch the top half of tomorrow's double-header."


A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" 
      The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" 
      The pastor said,"Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him." 
      "Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" 
      The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." 
      The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." 
      The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." 
      The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

Steve Cerrone
Ex. Dir. UVSports
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